The Pet Stylist and the Playboy Page 20

  Attempting to explain my feelings to the group in front of me proved fruitless, so I lapsed into silence.

  Looking at Brower, I thought, That could have been me. If I’d never left home, I’d be just like that guy. But no, I’d never been like my friends growing up. In fact, at one point I’d been sure I was adopted, until my mother finally pulled out my birth certificate to prove to me I wasn’t. I’ll admit to being a little disappointed.

  When we returned to the chalet, Felicity poured a generous amount of wine into two glasses and handed one to me.

  I expected another conversation about my not liking her friends, but she surprised me. “Still want to wait for our wedding night?” We hadn’t discussed sex since we’d gotten there, and I’d hoped we wouldn’t have to.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Do you mind?”

  Felicity regarded me over the rim of her glass.

  “Of course, I mind. You’re hot. But I still think it’s a nice idea to wait. But you’ve been a little warmer lately, and I was just checking, in case we could be rolling between the sheets instead of making polite conversation out here in the living room.” She admired the ring on her finger. “Have you thought about a wedding date?”

  I definitely had not. Just giving her the ring had been a huge step. When was this snowball going to stop rolling? When it crashes into a tree, my mind supplied.

  Before I could say anything, Felicity set down her wine glass and stepped closer to me. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she looked up into my face. For the first time, I wondered if I’d even be able to consummate the marriage. Maybe all the stress was making me impotent.

  Your dick did fine with Isaac. More than fine.

  Thinking of Isaac’s round butt beneath lace and silk perked my cock right up, and Felicity made a sound of approval as she brushed against it while pressing a kiss to my lips.

  It felt wrong and took everything in me not to jerk away. God, this is so fucked up. You are planning to marry this woman, ass-hat! Sometime you are going to have to sleep with her.

  The idea of trying to maintain a lie for the rest of my life exhausted me. I pulled away from her, downed my wine, and set the glass on the table. I shouldn’t start our life together like this. If we were going to enter this marriage as a business arrangement, we needed to put our cards on the table.

  Lightly resting my hands on Felicity’s shoulders, I looked down into her blue eyes.

  “We need to clear the air.”

  Examining my face, Felicity said, “If this is where you say you aren’t in love with me, I already know that. I’m not in love with you, either. But like my uncle and your parents have said, we’re a good match. We’re both young, healthy, and have an excellent education. Added to that, we both grew up wealthy with impressive pedigrees.”

  “You make us sound like dogs,” I said, and Felicity’s laugh rang out in the quiet room.

  “What I’m trying to say, Dante, is I’m not going into this marriage as a naive girl who thinks I’ve found my prince. I know how things stand. I just ask that now that we’re engaged, you stop fucking around and wait a while after we marry to resume your dalliances. Oh, and that you be safe and discreet. I’ll do the same, of course.”

  I stared at her. She’d already known I’d been fucking around, yet she had accepted my story about wanting to wait for marriage?

  Felicity seemed to read my thoughts. “Please, I’m not stupid. I figured you were trying to get someone less suitable out of your system.”

  Although I didn’t like labeling Isaac as “someone less suitable,” I knew what Felicity meant. He wasn’t suitable to this shallow life.

  “You’re right. That’s exactly what I was doing. But you’re wrong on another count: I don’t want to have the kind of marriage where we fuck around on each other.”

  Felicity blinked. “Really? Well, looks like I’ve misjudged you.” She looked me up and down. “I can deal with that. With you in my bed, I doubt I’ll ever need anyone else.”

  I stepped away from her and poured more wine, then offered more to her. She held out her glass to be filled.

  “You’re not what I expected,” she said.

  I ambled to the window and gazed out at the snow-covered mountains. “Is that right?”

  “I’ve heard you were a bit of a man-whore in high school and college. That you swing both ways and aren’t very picky.”

  I chuckled darkly. “I sound like a real prize.” I glanced at her over my shoulder. She stood by the bar with her glass in hand, head cocked as though she were trying to figure something out. Or someone. Me.

  “Why are you with me, Felicity? You could have anyone you want.”

  “Thanks for the compliment, but the fact is, I’m not that good at relationships.”

  I turned to face her. “You’re not old enough to say that. What are you, twenty-three?”

  “Twenty-five. I do hook-ups better than I do relationships. An arranged marriage like ours will allow me more freedom to do what I want business-wise.”

  I looked at her with new eyes. “Maybe we are a good pair,” I said wryly. Until this trip, I’d really thought she just wanted to snag a rich husband and double her worth before spending the rest of her days lounging by the pool.

  “Are you going to be able to leave this other person behind?” she asked.

  I sighed and looked out the window again. The sky was darkening and the moon sat large and bright over Aspen Mountain. “I already have.”

  I took a sip of wine, feeling lower than I had since walking out on Isaac.

  “I promised my folks I’d come back home when I turned thirty and settle down.”

  Felicity curled up on the sofa. “It doesn’t have to be so bad. I told you, I’m okay with you having lovers on the side if you keep it discreet and safe.”

  I tried to imagine being married to Felicity and fucking Isaac on weekends. Not that he’d ever go for that, but I found I didn’t like the imagined scenario either.

  “And I told you, I don’t want that. I want a good, solid marriage like my parents have. I don’t care about the wealth. I never have.”

  Felicity leaned back on the pillows, dark hair spilling around her. “You wear it well, though.”

  “Years of training.” I crossed to the large chair by the sofa and sat down.

  Felicity shrugged. “If that’s the only problem you’ll ever have, you’ll be a very lucky man.”

  I couldn’t help smiling. I guessed she was right about that.

  “So, take a weekend away now and then. Go fishing, or whatever it is you really like to do.”

  “That would be riding my motorcycle.”

  Felicity’s eyes lit up. “You have a motorcycle? Where is it?”

  “At the clubhouse. I’m a member of a biker club.”

  “Stop, or I’ll drag you to bed right this second.”

  “You’re okay with that?” I asked, surprised yet again.

  “Are you kidding me? What’s sexier than a hot biker?”

  A long-haired kid with an attitude wearing a pair of lace panties.

  “So, spend some weekends with your club,” Felicity said, as though she’d solved my problem.

  “My parents are embarrassed as hell about my club.”

  She sighed, taking a tube of lotion out of her purse and pouring some into her hand. “It’s not like they’re holding a trust fund over your head or anything.” She cast me a questioning look, and I shook my head. “So, who cares? You’re your own man. You’re marrying me and working for your dad. Do what the fuck you want during your off time.”

  I thought about that as Felicity rubbed lotion on her hands and arms and burrowed farther into the couch. The next time I looked her way, she was asleep.

  I covered her with an afghan before heading for the shower. Maybe she was right. Maybe I could do this thing and manage to keep a little of myself while doing it. Felicity was a lot nicer than I’d thought, and I’d been a jackass not to try to get to know her so
oner. Maybe our marriage wouldn’t be as miserable as I’d been afraid it would be if I’d just give it my best try.

  But, like he was the default setting in my brain, when I stood under the strong spray of water, my mind returned to Isaac. I wondered what he was doing. If he hated me now. Was he with Hugh? The vet definitely liked him; I could tell. Well, he’d damned well better keep his hands off Isaac, I thought, well aware I had no right but unable to stop myself. I should be hoping Hugh was with Isaac after I’d hurt him so bad, but I wasn’t that nice of a guy. Imagining Hugh kissing Isaac, touching him like I’d touched him, made me want to punch a hole in the shower wall.

  Closing my eyes, I pictured Isaac spread out on the bed, legs open and inviting, and my dick came to life. I took myself in hand with a groan, stroking until my climax burst out of me, and then watching the evidence of my desire for Isaac wash away at my feet.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Swish

  Gus was doing his best to make Christmas good for me, and I tried to put Dante out of my mind and have fun, but it was difficult. The past few weeks had been hell during which I’d clung to my anger, so I wouldn’t just hole up in bed and let Deirdre and Caleb think I was sick, so they’d take over with the animals.

  I continued to berate myself for letting myself have hope where Dante was concerned. I’d been stupid and naive, and now I was paying for it, end of story

  I’d picked up extra hours at Lux during the holidays and had run into Clint on several occasions, but once I’d made it perfectly clear I wasn’t changing my mind about starting up with him again, he left me alone. The last time I’d seen him—just the night before when I’d waited tables during a party—he’d had a twink draped over his arm.

  Had I ever looked like that? God, I hoped not.

  On Christmas Eve, a bunch of us gathered at Gus’s like we had on Thanksgiving. I made a big meal and was thankful for the distraction cooking and entertaining brought me. Blaze seemed moody and distracted, and when I’d asked Zeke about it, he’d just shrugged and said Blaze had things he was trying to work out. Obviously uncomfortable with the crowd, Caleb made it through dinner before slipping away down to my place to check on the dogs.

  On Christmas morning, I awoke to several inches of snow covering the ground. Outside the kitchen window, birds gathered on the feeder, the red of the cardinals and blue of the jays standing out against the pristine white snow, creating a postcard-like scene, and I watched for a long time while the dogs ate their breakfast. Then I let them into the enclosure Dante and I had built while I did a round of laundry and mopping. When I’d finished and had closed them into the playroom behind a baby gate, I set out for Gus’s.

  The night before, I’d climbed the ladder to the attic and brought out Gus’s artificial tree. I put it together in the living room, and when everyone arrived, they decorated while I cooked. It was one of those skinny, tall trees, and it hadn’t taken long to put on the tiny colored lights and hang the old-fashioned ornaments Gus kept carefully wrapped in a box. After dinner, Ax and Hung had put wood in the fireplace so all Gus had to do when he got up was light it. When I arrived Christmas morning, the fire blazed away in the grate, and the lights on the tree twinkled in the cozy dimness of the room.

  “Merry Christmas!” I hugged Gus. “You don’t want the drapes open? It snowed last night.”

  “There’ll be plenty of snow. I want to enjoy the tree while it’s up.”

  “Okay. What do you want for breakfast? Bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes?”

  Gus rubbed his belly under the red flannel shirt he wore with his dark sweat pants. “I swear I’m still full from last night. I’ve put some coffee on. If you’ll get us a couple mugs of it, we can open our presents. Butch and Angel have already gotten into their stockings. They couldn’t wait. Oh, unless you’re hungry right now, Isaac?”

  “I’m fine. Hang on, and I’ll get the coffee.”

  I stepped around the two dogs on the floor chewing on twin elf toys and headed for the kitchen. I’d planned a Christmas party for the animals that night. Deirdre, Caleb, Ax, Foghorn, and Cupcake were coming. I’d made a cake out of dog food and another out of cat food, and although they grossed me out every time I looked at they, I knew the animals would love them.

  Staying busy helped me keep Dante at the back of my mind, but every time I had a few seconds, I wondered what he was doing. Then I’d picture him in Aspen, lying in front of a fire with FB-B in his arms, and I’d feel sick.

  Gus and I settled in front of the roaring fire, Santa coffee mugs in our hands. I pulled the gifts out from under the tree, and we opened them at the same time. Gus loved the special pillow I’d ordered him. He hadn’t been sleeping well, and the description promised to change that. He’d gotten me a bright red scarf, and I wrapped it around my neck to show him how much I loved it. The church ladies had wrapped up a box of homemade Christmas candy, and we tasted a few of those before setting it aside and finishing our coffee while we gazed at the fire and carols played low on the radio. I couldn’t remember ever having such a pleasant Christmas morning.

  “I have something else for you,” Gus said after a while. “Look way back under the tree.”

  I gamely got on my hands and knees and searched. It took me a minute to spot the red and white striped envelope. I pulled it out and looked at Gus questioningly where he sat on the couch.

  “Open it, Son.”

  Biting my lip, I slid my finger under the flap, wondering what it could be. A gift certificate? I unfolded the piece of paper.

  “I don’t understand,” I said after reading it through. It couldn’t be what it looked like. I read it again.

  “It’s an application for adoption,” Gus said. “I want to adopt you legally, Isaac, if you’ll let me. ”

  I frowned. “You want to adopt me?”

  Gus nodded. “In my heart, you’re already my son, but I’d like to make it official.”

  Tears pricked my eyes and my nose stung. “But...I’m an adult.”

  “Doesn’t matter. Adults can be adopted. You’d take my name, of course. We’d legally be family. Do you think it’s something you might consider?” Gus looked at me hopefully, like adopting me, Isaac Paul, was something he really, really wanted to do.

  Never in my life had I been wanted.

  Fat tears splashed my cheeks.

  Gus looked worried. “Oh, Isaac. Son. Don’t cry. I won’t be upset if this isn’t what you want.”

  I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. “I do want it.”

  Gus smiled brightly “That’s wonderful! I’ll send it in right away. Come over here and give your old man a hug.”

  I pulled myself off the floor and onto the couch, and we sat with our arms around each other for a long time until Gus’s stomach let out a loud rumble and, laughing, I got up to make us breakfast.

  I couldn’t believe it. I’d stopped hoping to be adopted a very long time ago. All day, I thought about it. Gus wanted me. We were going to be family.

  At the shelter that night I felt fragile with the thought of it, and, sensing something was up with me, the others worked together to get the party started, Jesse serving the smelly dog food cake and Deirdre doing the same with the cat food cake in the sunroom. Ax hadn’t been able to come to dinner the night before, and he arrived in a boisterous gust of wind, a red sack slung over his shoulder and a Santa hat clapped jauntily on his bald head.

  Caleb, who’d been standing next to me watching Banjo and Bella tug a toy between them, cringed back at the sight of the big man. I put my arm around his shoulders and whispered, “Ax may look terrifying, but I promise you he’s a good guy.” I still didn’t know what Caleb’s story was, but thought it must be something pretty bad, considering the reaction he was having to Ax. The kid was shaking in his shoes.

  “Hey, look, it’s Behemoth Santa,” Foghorn joked, and Ax dropped his Santa sack to tackle his club brother to the floor, where they rolled around for several moments while everyone else moved out of
their way.

  A small, scared sound escaped Caleb’s mouth, and he sank to the floor, covering his head with his hands.

  “Hey, you guys, get up,” I shouted at Ax and Foghorn before crouching beside Caleb and putting a hand on the younger man’s back.

  “Hey, you okay?”

  When he didn’t answer, I looked around. “Where’s Deirdre?” I asked Cupcake.

  “In the cat room. I’ll get her.” Cupcake hurried down the hall.

  Ax got up off the floor and walked over. “What’s wrong with him?”

  “Stay back,” I said, as Caleb began to shake harder, flinching when I began stroking his back.

  “Please don’t let him hurt me,” Caleb said from under the cover of his arms.

  “He won’t hurt you.” I continued the soothing strokes down Caleb’s spine. “I told you, Ax is my friend.”

  Caleb peered out at me, gray eyes huge and stormy with fear, freckles standing out on his pale face. “Why is he called Ax?”

  Before I could form an answer, Ax kneeled down next to me. “It’s short for Axel. You can call me that if you want.”

  Deirdre hurried in. Spotting us, she rushed over to Caleb. “What happened?”

  “Ax spooked him,” I said.

  “Axel,” Ax corrected, eyes on Caleb.

  “You want to head back to my house?” Deirdre asked Caleb.

  Caleb slowly unfurled, sending a wary glance Ax’s way but seeming a little calmer. He took a few deep breaths and shook his head.

  “I’m okay. I’m sorry for making a scene.”

  “Hey, it’s not a problem. You’re fine.” I got to my feet. Deirdre helped Caleb to stand, and it kind of broke my heart the way he stood there, arms wrapped around himself.

  “Help me get more snacks,” I told Ax, and he followed me into the kitchen.