The Key to his Heart for Christmas Read online

  Now he lay sleeping in my arms, and nothing had ever felt so right. The fire flickered over our naked bodies while outside snow fell. And evidently my spending so much time lounging on the floor had given my dog the idea he could sleep on the couch because that’s where he’d been for the past hour.

  I sighed contentedly and Sayer nuzzled closer to me. Since I’d worked the past two Christmases, my chief had insisted I take the next three days to spend with my house guest. I was actually looking forward to the holiday. I’d been happy with Liz, but what I felt with Sayer was different, and it solidified the growing realization that, by asking Liz to stay with me, I’d cheated her out of something. Or would have, had she not fallen ill.

  I glanced at the man beside me, dark head resting on my arm and nose pressed against my arm pit, and tried to objectively examine my feelings. For one thing, I had this strong sense of wanting to protect him, and I was pretty sure Sayer wouldn’t appreciate it. After all, he was older than I was and perfectly capable of taking care of himself. But I wanted to make things better for him. I wanted to make him smile all the time.

  I continued studying Sayer’s face. His lips parted in sleep and his thick, dark lashes rested on his cheeks. His nose was slightly crooked in the middle and one eyebrow had a slight scar running through it. One of his long legs was draped over mine, the firelight highlighting the dark hairs on it.

  Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. I wanted to pick up a gift for Sayer. Maybe we could go into town later, but right then, all I wanted to do was lie there with him.

  It was almost five and already dark when Sayer and I left the cottage and headed for downtown Riverbend, which was a square of quaint intersecting streets, all of them lit up and decorated at this time of year. We bought hot cider at a sidewalk vendor and strolled along, looking in windows and walking into shops whenever one interested us.

  I found out Sayer liked antiques and managed to secretly have the shopkeeper ring up something I’d noticed him admiring.

  “Hungry?” I asked when we stepped out of a candle shop.

  “Yeah, I could definitely eat. We burned a lot of calories today, even after the chili.” Sayer smiled knowingly at me, and I’m pretty sure I blushed at the mental image I got of how we’d 69’d on the couch. I’d never had a man’s cock in my mouth before Sayer’s, and having him suck me while I sucked him excited me so much, I’d shot down Sayer’s throat embarrassingly quickly. He’d said it was hot, but I couldn’t help but be mortified by my lack of control.

  I chose a restaurant that had been one of Liz and my favorites, with low lighting and several hearths lit. Their fare consisted of a long list of original soups, homemade breads, and delicious salads.

  “This place is great,” Sayer said after we’d ordered. He looked very handsome in a blue sweater and dark pair of jeans, and I just wanted to kiss him.

  “I haven’t been here in a long time,” I said. “I’ve missed their food. You’re going to love it.”

  The waitress set down a plate of warm, seedy bread and a bowl of butter along with the drinks we’d ordered. She smiled at me, meeting my eyes flirtatiously. When she left, Sayer laughed.

  “She is totally into you.”

  I extended my leg under the table, brushing my shoe alongside Sayer’s.

  “Not my type,” I said.

  Sayer smiled, and I noticed a dimple in his left cheek. Discovering it reminded me of how little we actually knew one another, so I asked him to tell me more about himself. He described his childhood in Utah and the stiff Mormon upbringing that had eventually driven him away.

  “I don’t talk to my family anymore,” he said.

  “I’m sorry. My mother and I are similarly estranged. Well, we are since I came out to her after Liz’s death. I was surprised at how angry she’d been. She’d acted as though my sexuality had somehow been at fault for Liz’s death, which of course makes no sense.”

  “That must be really hard on you,” Sayer said, and I nodded.

  “I hadn’t been looking forward to the holiday at all,” I admitted. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

  Sayer smiled. “I’m glad I’m here too.” His eyes clouded a moment before clearing again. “Tell me about Liz.”

  So I did, and it felt good to talk about her. We were in the middle of our conversation when someone came up to our table. I looked up to see Georgia, one of Liz’s good friends, standing there.

  “Dane, it’s great to see you.” She smiled warmly. “You’ve been a real stranger the past couple of years.”

  I stood, and Sayer did too.

  “Please, sit down,” Georgia said. “I’m here with my parents.” She gestured to a booth in the back where I could make out two figures. “I was on my way to the ladies room when I spotted you.”

  “This is Sayer Mills,” I said. “A good friend.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Georgia said. “Well, I’ll be on my way. Have a good meal.”

  “She was nice,” Sayer said when we were alone again.

  “Yeah. She and Liz were in a sorority together in college. I don’t know her all that well, though.”

  “Have you really made yourself scarce since your wife died, or was she exaggerating?”

  I let out a sigh and ran my hand through my hair. “I guess I haven’t been out much. I’ve worked a lot.”

  “You should get back out there,” Sayer said. “You’re too young to be by yourself all the time. You live out there in the country with no neighbors close enough to speak to. It couldn’t be healthy.”

  I shrugged. “I love it out there. I’ve never been much of a people person. Liz was the one who always wanted us to go out. I just went along with it.”

  When the waitress arrived with our food, I checked my phone. I had a message from Rod that had been sent earlier in the day but was for some reason just coming through.

  “Feel like going to a Christmas party at the firehouse?” I asked Sayer. “Well, not really a party, more like a little gathering. We don’t have to stay long.”

  “Sure,” Sayer said.

  We ate our meal, the food just as delicious as I remembered, and I popped into a nearby bookstore to get a couple gifts before heading that way.

  “The guys are great,” I told Sayer. “We usually have drinks and food the day before Christmas Eve, but I forgot about it this year. We do a little gift thing—Dirty Santa, I think it’s called. There’s food, but we probably won’t want any of that.”

  “I’m pretty stuffed,” Sayer said. “But it’ll be cool to see your friends and the firehouse.”

  Steve was wearing a Santa hat when we walked into the Day Room and lining up gifts under the tree.

  “Here are two more,” I said, handing him the gift bags.

  “Dane! Thought you might not show,” Steve said, patting me on the back. He smiled at Sayer. “Who’s your friend?”

  I introduced them, and the took Sayer over to the refreshment table where most of the guys were gathered.

  “Hey, guys, this is Sayer. He’s staying with me a few days.”

  The guys were warm and welcoming, but I could tell some of them were sizing Sayer up, especially Rod and Zack. But Sayer and Mike soon started talking football, and pretty soon no one would’ve known Sayer wasn’t one of us.

  “What’s going on between you two?” Rod asked me later, after the game of Dirty Santa. We’d stayed longer than I thought we would, and I was glad Sayer was having a good time.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  Rod ran his hair over his buzzed head. “I dunno, man. There’s just this weird vibe between the two of you. It’s got me wondering.”

  I took a step back. A game of pool had everyone’s attention, and no one was listening to us.

  “Wondering what, exactly?” I asked warily.

  Rod shook his head, then laughed. “Sorry. I’m probably imagining things. Forget I said anything.”

  But I couldn’t forget. Was Rod saying he could tell that Sayer and I
were lovers? Rod knew about Liz, of course, and he had no reason to think I liked guys—unless I was acting different around Sayer. Fuck, it was none of the guy’s business anyway. What did I care if he thought it? Maybe I should just tell him. How would all the guys act if they knew?

  On the way home, Sayer took my hand and held it.

  “I had a good time,” he said.

  “I’m glad. So did I.”

  “Your co-workers are great. Maybe it would’ve been different if I’d had nice people to work with.”

  “They’re a good bunch of guys.”

  I wasn’t going to let Rod’s odd behavior get me down. I only had Sayer for a short amount of time, and I was determined to enjoy it.

  Sayer had me naked on my stomach, hips propped on a couple of pillows, ass and junk on full display. He ran his hands up the length of my legs, gently easing them farther open. Heart hammering, I concentrated on breathing, not sure exactly what he was going to do but having a pretty good idea. Wicked anticipation filled me.

  “I love your balls,” Sayer said hoarsely. “Love how they hang. How they feel.”

  I shivered as he touched them, picturing his fine-boned fingers on my sac.

  “Love your cock. It’s the perfect size. Fits inside me so nice. I love how it stretches me.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut, his words washing over me, leaving tingles in their wake.

  Sayer ran a finger along the ridge of my cock head.

  “I love the way you smell and taste,” he continued reverently. “You fill me up so good with your cock and your cum. Wish I could keep it inside me all the time.”

  I let out a groan and thrust my hips against the pillows. Sayer’s voice was hypnotic and so damn sexy, and being exposed like I was felt naughty. Sayer’s finger wandered upward, trailing along my taint all the way to my hole, which automatically clenched. He ran circles around it, and then I felt his lips against my ass cheek, kissing, murmuring things I couldn’t hear over the roaring in my ears, the stubble on his face scratching my skin. Sayer gathered precum from my dick on his fingertip and applied it to my hole, which spasmed under his touch.

  Tiny circles became larger ones as Sayer’s finger continued to tease. I was breathing hard now, head buried in my arms, the faint factory smell of the rug in my nose.

  “Sayer,” I whispered, and then gasped as I felt the flick of his tongue along my crack. His palms cupping my ass cheeks, he pulled me open and blew over my hole, making me shiver. “Oh, God,” I whimpered, then bit my arm to stop myself from saying more.

  “Don’t,” Sayer said. “I want to hear how much you’re enjoying this.” And then, “Please, Dane.”

  I let go of my arm and immediately cried out when Sayer flattened his tongue against my hole, licking it slowly like a cat would clean itself.

  “You taste even better than I’d imagined,” he said against my skin, and if it weren’t for the grip Sayer had on the base of my cock, I would have come.

  The sound of licking and sucking filled the room, mingling with the sharp crackling of the fire and Boone’s snores. I knew the smell of pine would be forever linked with pleasure for me after this Christmas. Sayer was making me crazy with the mixed sensations of his scratchy stubble and soft, slick tongue. I’d never been eaten out before—never done it either—but I thought I’d like to do it to Sayer. I imagined revealing his most intimate place and putting my tongue there. My cock jerked.

  “That’s it; you’re opening up for me,” Sayer said, breath hot on my taint. I cried out when he poked his tongue inside me. When he wiggled it, I squirmed and moaned.

  “Please, Sayer,” I said on a gasp as he started fucking me with his tongue. God, I hadn’t even known that was really a thing.

  His hands gripped me hard, one squeezing my ass cheek and the other milking my dick as he stabbed into me with his wet tongue. I’d never had anything in my ass, and now a man’s tongue was there. I shivered. Suddenly, Sayer’s wet finger penetrated me, and I jerked. Then it slid up my passage and ran over something—my prostate I presumed—and I let out a yell that had Boone raising his head.

  “I can’t tell you how beautiful you look like this,” Sayer said, voice gravely. “All bent over for me, your ass loving my tongue and fingers.”

  “Oh, God,” I groaned.

  “Do you want me to fuck you, Dane? Because I will if you that’s what you want. Just say the word. My cock would love to be in your hole.”

  Sayer’s dirty talk made me crazy hard. Did I want him to fuck me? I didn’t know.

  Sayer increased the movement of his fingers, helped by the vegetable oil. Everything around me began to dim as the pleasure built. Sayer bit my ass cheek, then licked the sting away, all the while, his fingers pistoning inside me.

  I mumbled something indecipherable and came hard, hips thrusting against the pillows while Sayer milked me dry.

  “Christ,” I said, rolling over only to find Sayer licking my cum off his fingers. “Holy shit, Sayer.”

  Sayer smiled. “Like I said, you taste really good.”

  I yanked him down so he was lying flat against me and kissed him hard. Our tongues mingled for several long moments and I tasted my cum.

  “Sorry I didn’t let you fuck me,” I said when we parted.

  “Hey, you don’t have to be sorry for that. I was just putting it out there. I’m versatile. I’m just as good with you fucking me.”

  “I’m just not sure what I think about it. I was tempted, but kind of scared at the same time.”

  “That’s natural.” He kissed my chest.

  It was Christmas Eve. We’d had a big breakfast and then had taken Boone on a long walk. When we’d gotten back, Sayer had whipped together a shepherd’s pie, and I’d turned on some Christmas carols and found a moment to wrap the small gift I had bought for Sayer in town. When I’d returned to the living room, I’d found Sayer painting. He was good. He didn’t seem to believe me when I said that, but it was absolutely true. He had talent.

  I’d spent some time with my model airplane, and, after lunch, Sayer had suggested we shower together. Then he’d positioned me on the living room floor for what he called his second dessert.

  Now I looked down at his hard cock. “Let me suck you,” I said, scooting down to take him into my mouth. Just like before, having a cock—his cock—in my face made my heart pound and balls tingle. It was a part of what I’d been missing out on, and I didn’t think I’d ever get enough. Was Sayer special, or would I feel this way with any attractive man? I was pretty sure it was the former. I couldn’t wait to get him into my mouth. I loved the scent of his skin and the silky feel of his cock against my tongue. I opened my mouth as wide as I could and took him all the way into my throat, eyes watering. Sayer’s shiver and sighs of pleasure were my reward. Pulling my head back by the hair, Sayer fucked my throat, and God, I loved every minute of it.

  Maybe I would like being fucked after all.

  As Sayer shuddered through what looked to be a magnificent orgasm and I was choking on his cum, a knock at the door startled both of us. Sayer let go of my hair, and I let him slip out of my mouth, his seed dribbling over my lips.

  “Who the fuck could that be?” I asked, wobbly as I got to my feet and surveyed the room with the blankets and pillows everywhere and a bottle of vegetable oil sitting incongruously in the middle of it.

  “Shit,” Sayer said. He must have realized this wasn’t a scene I’d want anyone to walk in on because he hurried to gather everything and take it into my bedroom. With a cursory look around to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything, I yanked on my sweatpants and opened the door, wiping my mouth as I did so.

  Rod, Zach, and Mike stood on the other side, their hands full of food.

  “Um, hey,” Mike said, gaze taking in my disheveled hair, bare chest, and probably swollen lips. I realized that besides my looking well fucked, the room likely smelled of sex.

  Well, there wasn’t anything I could do about it, so I tried for normal.<
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  “What’s all this?’ I asked, standing to the side so the three men could carry in the food. “Down, Boone,” I said to my excited dog.

  “When I told Sheila you weren’t working this Christmas and that you had a guest, she made double of everything,” Mike said.

  “That was really nice of her.”

  “I see you’re not starving, though,” Mike said from the kitchen, surveying what remained of the shepherd’s pie.

  “Sayer’s a pretty good cook,” I said.

  “Where is he?” Zack asked. Rod was looking around the living room like he expected to find something interesting.

  “He’s in the bedroom. Uh, the guest bedroom.”

  Sayer came walking down the hall. “Hi, guys,” he said, and thank God he’d put on clothes and looked normal, although I plainly recognized the flush of sex on his cheeks.

  “I’d been taking a nap by the fire,” I said, grabbing my shirt from the back of the couch and pulling it on.

  “Sorry to come over unannounced, but Sheila was eager for us to get this to you,” Mike said. Zach and Rod shared a look, and I was suddenly very eager to get them all out of my house.

  “Tell her I really appreciate it,” I said to Mike, corralling him and the other two to the door. “Honestly. It was really nice of her.”

  A couple more minutes of chatting, and they were gone. I turned to look at Sayer.

  “Sorry,” he said.

  “For what?” I asked.

  “I think I’ve outed you. They looked like they know something’s up.”

  I shook my head. “What I do on my down time is none of their business.”

  “Give them some time to get used to it. I’m sure they never imagined you could be gay. Or bi.”

  I ran my hand over my face. “I just never thought it would bother them, but I really think it does.”

  “I’m sure they’re just a little shocked. After all, you were married to a woman.”